As I continue to hurdle towards a summer release of my book, I think about the balance necessary between attraction to and promotion of one's self. In my life experience, I admired the people who were not self-promoters and simply led by example. That example engendered my attraction to them; my desire "to live like they live, to have what they have." On the flip side, I was always turned off by people who relentlessly self-promoted, but whose bite never came close to their bark.
Social Media has made it more difficult to rely on attraction only. And to be realistic, I am not sure anyone, myself especially, is totally devoid of self-promotion. As I think about the message I will deliver in my book, I never say I have the answer. I talk about things that have worked and many more that have not worked for me to connect with people. I talk about how they might or might not work for others.
But I never claim causality.
I never say "Do these 5 things and your life will be complete" or "Follow this simple plan and all your troubles will go away."
As an addict, I know the feeling of wanting to be high right this second. I know how good it feels when I am told I can have everything I could ever dream of by doing a simple plan that takes only a short period of time.
7 Minute Abs (Or 6 minutes by the lunatic in "There's Something About Mary").
The latest keto, paleo, fasting, no carb diet that will make me look like Fabio in just one week.
How to invest in cryptocurrencies and guarantee returns with no risk.
How to flip houses and make 20% a year.
Essentially, "Just do everything I say to do, how I say to do it and your life will be so much better."
I tried that philosophy often in life, in work, and in relationships. It never worked and inevitably ended badly.
The reality is I know next to nothing about what constitutes even my closest friends, so how can I say that my plan will lead to their success?
If I cannot say to someone "Just do this, this and this and your life will be perfect," will anyone want to listen? If I can only claim, "this might work for you," is that enough? This is a real fear of mine, but one I cannot compromise on.